Contact us!

Email:
info@familynonviolence.org

Phone: 1 (508) 996-1100

Fax: 1 (508) 996-1100*51

Family Non-Violence, Inc.
P.O. Box 814
Fairhaven, MA 02719-0800

The Communicator:
A quarterly newsletter of Family Nonviolence, Inc.
Volume 7, Number 1 March 2008

In this issue:

• From the Executive Director
• "Activities of the Agency "
• The Myths of Corporal Punishment

Welcome! We continue to come to you in order to share information regarding important issues regarding domestic/family violence as well as providing information on the activities in which we as an agency are involved. We welcome you to this issue of The Communicator.

A reminder: We have begun a Yahoo discussion group entitled “Preventing Family Violence.” It allows anyone to contribute to an online discussion about the issue as stated. If you have any ideas about this important issue, you can access the discussion group by going to http://preventingfamilyviolence@yahoogroups.com

Also: You are welcome to respond to any item in the newsletter as well as to raise any concern about the prevention of family violence. You may reach us at our phone number (508) 996-1100. Our email address is info@familynonviolence.org.

Restorative Justice Task Force: At the last meeting of the Restorative Justice Task Force there was a presentation of the New Bedford Youth Court by the Director, Lisa Tavares. She provided an overview of the activities and the basics philosophy of the program that impacts so many youth in the greater New Bedford area. Although the philosophical approach of the Youth Court differs in the concept of restorative justice that the task force represents, the task force members expressed appreciation for the marvelous resource that the Youth Court is to the wider community.

Clergy Conference Task Force: At a meeting in Fall River in January the clergy and members of the domestic violence professionals that constitute the membership focused on seeking ways to provide training in domestic violence education for the lay educators in our congregations.

Taking the Time: This is a six-month program for couples that provides feedback from a premarital inventory, monthly meetings with Mentors to guide them through reflection on the inventory, and monthly lectures on topics important to prepare for marriage.

For any of these opportunities, call (508) 996-1100 or communicate with us at info@familynonviolence.org.

Vote of the Board of Directors: In the light of the recent emphasis upon a petition to the Legislature to prohibit spanking, the Board, although supporting a rule about no spanking, has voted to present its own petition to the Legislature. This Citizen’s Petition would make it unlawful to use belts or other instruments to discipline children. The Board is seeking support for this effort. If you agree with the petition or would like more information, please call (508) 996-1100 or send an email to info@familynonviolence.org. Following the petition is a draft copy letter of support that can be used by any individual who wishes to support these efforts. Please feel free to cut and paste the letter into a Word document and place your name and appropriate information in the spaces provided. Then, send the letter to your state representatives and state senators.

PETITION OF

In the Year Two Thousand and Eight.

AN ACT PROHIBITING THE USE OF BELTS OR OTHER INSTRUMENTS TO DISCIPLINE CHILDREN. Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives in General Court assembled, and by the authority of the same, as follows:

SECTION 1: Chapter 119 of the General Laws, as appearing in the 2004 Official Edition, is hereby amended by inserting after Section 51 B, a new Section 51 B 1/2, as follows:

Section 51 B ½. THE USE OF BELTS OR OTHER INSTRUMENTS TO DISCIPLINE CHILDREN IS PROHIBITED

The use of belts or other instruments to discipline children is not reasonable force and violates their rights to safe, secure and respectful care.

The provisions of this section are intended to eliminate only the use of belts or other instruments to discipline children because of the risks of injurious bodily harm that are associated with those forms of corporal punishment.

(a) For the purposes of this section, the following words shall, unless the context indicates otherwise, have the following meanings:

* Child, any person under eighteen years of age. * The willful infliction of physical pain through the use of belts or other instruments.

(b) It shall be unlawful in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts for any adult to use belts or other instruments to discipline children.

(c) The provisions of this section shall not preclude any parent from using incidental or reasonable force with the intent to maintain order and control or other discipline.

(d) The use of belts or other instruments on a child shall be considered an act of criminal assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.

Title above Or your agency here

Family Non-violence, Inc.
P. O. Box 814
Fairhaven, MA 02719

The [your agency or name] is fully committed to supporting Family Non-violence, Inc. in its attempt to pass a legislative act that will prohibit the use of belts or other instruments to discipline children because of the risks of bodily harm that are associated with those forms of corporal punishment.

The provisions of the legislative act shall not preclude any parent from using reasonable force designed to maintain order, control or discipline.

Very truly yours,

Agency/name

I recently returned from the domestic violence conference, From Ideology to Inclusion. At the conference Murray Straus the founder and Co-Director of the Family Research Laboratory was presented with a life-time achievement award for his 40 years of work to end family violence.

I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Straus and when I did I told him that I thought that his, Beating the Devil out of Them: Corporal Punishment in America Families, was one of his best books. He told me that one of his proudest achievements was to be on the fore front of the moral passage of recognizing that most forms of family physical assaults are wrong.

However, Straus also told me that he has had difficulty understanding why the majority of people continue to approve of parents or adult care takers physically assaulting their children. He believes, as do I, that no one wants to be physically assaulted, there are very few reasons one deserves to be physically assaulted and most importantly, society should not tolerate it.

Recently an Arlington nurse presented a bill to make corporal punishment (physical assault) against the law in Massachusetts. My local newspaper suggested that her bill was a nonexistent prospect that was no more than, “… a fringe suggestion of a single citizen.

When I returned home I again reread some sections of the Straus book. In chapter 10, Straus notes that, “… 84 percent of a survey of Americans agreed that it is sometimes necessary to give a child a good hard spanking.”

Straus notes in Chapter 10, of his book that most Americans – I would guess that excludes the children being hit - support hitting children. Straus then notes that most of the reasons given by adults to hit children are myths. The following is a Readers Digest version of those Chapter 10 myths as presented by Straus.

What the reader needs to remember as these myths are presented is that while spankings can demonstrate effective “short term” results, the Straus book and the studies it documents are examining long term results.

Myth 1: Spanking Works Better

While there has been extensive research on the effectiveness of corporal punishment of animals, there have been only a few studies concerning the effectiveness of corporal punishment of children. Remarkably, both studies document that the corporal punishment of both animals and children are no more effective than other methods of teaching and controlling their behavior. In fact some of the studies document the corporal punishment is the least effective method.

Myth 2: Spanking Is Needed as a Last Resort

Most parents and many social scientists who are morally opposed to spanking tend to think that spanking may be needed in instances of behavior that puts the child at risk, running into the street, touching a hot stove, etc. However, it is important to note that there is not a single scientific empirical study that actually supports that belief. In fact the “last resort” often occurs when the parents, frustrated with previous failures are usually angry and the hitting may be quite severe.

Myth 3: Spanking is Harmless

Many people claim that they were spanked as a child and they have had few if any problems in their adult life. In fact they are correct. Studies document that most children who were spanked do not exhibit any harmful effects as adults. This is the same form argument used by cigarette companies use to demonstrate that cigarette smoking is not harmful.

The cigarette companies note that most people who smoke do not die of lung cancer or suffer from emphysema, hence, they claim that smoking is harmless. This “harmless effect” is disputed by studies that document that smoking clearly raises the “risk factors” of long term harm by smokers.

The Straus book also notes the growing number of studies that document that spanking raises the “risk factors” for many adults, who were spanked as children even when the parents are otherwise very loving, and explain why the spanking is occurring.

Myth 4: One or Two Times Won’t Cause Any Damage

The book clearly documents that the greatest risk of harmful effects occurs when spanking is very frequent. However, it also documents that this does not necessarily mean that spanking infrequently is harmless.

There are some studies that show that occasional spankings can be slightly problematic. While studies do document that occasional spankings demonstrate only slight harmful effects, why should parents spank when most of the studies document that other forms of discipline are more effective in the long term.

Myth 5: Parents Can’t Stop Without Training

The most basic step in eliminating corporal punishment is for parent educators, psychologists and pediatricians themselves to accept the fact that hitting anyone, including children, and other than when done in self-defense, is wrong behavior. While most educators, psychologists or physicians acknowledge that intimate partner violence is wrong, many do not view spanking as wrong behavior.

Most parent educators, psychologists and pediatricians train parents to accept that it can be emotional harmful to verbally attack children, demeaning or insulting them At the same time, many of them do not see the same long term harm that may be caused by physical pain. In fact, some professionals continue to condone the physical assaults of children by parents.

Myth 6: If You Don’t Spank Your Children Will Be Spoiled or Run Wild

This appears to be the time to note that I did not spank my children and they – five of them – are not spoiled nor did they run wild. It is parents who do not discipline their children who run the risk that their children will be spoiled or run wild. All children – similar to adults - need and expect some form of disciple. I found that the best discipline was to firmly condemn the misbehavior and explain why it was wrong. If the misbehavior is repeated remove from the child whatever it is they seem to desire the most. There are many forms of discipline available other than hitting.

Myth 7: Parents Spank Rarely or Only for Serious Problems

The data documents that most parents who spank use this method of discipline for almost all misbehavior. And the data also documents that most parents who discipline by hitting their children note that the parents have never tried any other method.

Myth 8: By the Time a Child is a Teenager, Parents Have Stopped

Most studies document it is size not age that ends the use of corporal punishment. In fact some studies document that teenagers are slapped on the face more than on the buttocks. Two national surveys document that even at the age of 17 one out of five parents continue to hit their child as a form of discipline.

Myth 9: If Parents Don’t Spank, They will Verbally Abuse Their Child

The studies document exactly the opposite. Among the nationally representative samples of parents in the Straus book, those who did the least spanking also engaged in the least amount of verbal aggression.

Myth 10: It is Unrealistic to Expect Parents to Never Spank

It is no more unrealistic to expect parents to never hit a child than to expect that intimate partners should never hit each other. Even if there was a law against spanking – as there is in a number of countries – some parents would continue to spank their children.

A law against spanking is unrealistic – as proven recently here in Massachusetts – only because spanking continues to be an accepted role for parents to play.

Conclusion

Historically, more often than not, most societies accepted the right of husbands to use physical assaults against their wives as a form of discipline. And historically, many different reasons have been given by men for that right. I think that historically there have been social, legal and moral beliefs that men had the responsibility and would fight and die to feed, clothe, protect and shelter both their wives and children. Most often those who would give their lives for their family or community would be given rights above those who did not. In this 21st century those historic roles are no longer always the responsibility of only men.

Regardless, those roles should never have been acceptable reasons for husbands to have the legal right to use physical assaults against their wives to discipline them. Today, those roles should not give us, both husbands and wives, the right to use physically assaults against our children.

It seems that physical assaults of our children continue for a number of other reasons. However, as Straus notes the two most accepted reasons for continuing these physical assaults is that spanking is effective and that spanking is not harmful.

There is an ever increasing number of studies that document spanking is not effective and that it is harmful. One of the more important reasons we should stop hitting our children is that we shouldn’t be doing anything to our children that we do not want done to ourselves.