The Communicator:
A newsletter of Family Nonviolence, Inc.
Volume 5, Number 1 January & February 2006

In this issue:

• From the Executive Director
• Activities of Family Nonviolence, Inc.
• Domestic Violence Deaths

Lest we forget! At the beginning of this new year we thought it might be well to bring to our consciousness again the reason why persons like ourselves (and so many others) are concerned about domestic, that is, family violence. During the next few issues we will have witnesses of persons whose lives have been affected by the awesome tragedy of being abused by those who proclaimed their love for them. The beatings go on!

It happens to persons of both genders! We include as the main feature a letter "In Memoriam" that Richard Davis, our Vice President, wrote in response to the annual listing of victims of domestic violence in Massachusetts in the Boston Globe. Our position is that domestic, that is, family violence, is not just about men beating women (although that happens too often) but about the need to recognize that domestic, that is, family violence is not confined to one gender, but that women, men and children are all potential victims.

You are welcome to respond to any item in the newsletter as well as to raise any concern about the prevention of family violence. Our phone number is (508) 996-1100. Our email address is info@familynonviolence.org.

• Tuesday evenings 6:30-8:00 p.m. ­ The Next Step (Support group for divorced and separated; to register call (508) 996-1100)
• February 25 ­ Day-long Workshop in Nonviolent Communication
• Ongoing ­ Men's Support Group (for men abused in partner relationships; to join call (508) 996-1100)
• March 20 ­ Planning Meeting of the Clergy Conference Task Force on education regarding domestic violence

Each year the Boston Globe lists the names of people who have died that year as a result of domestic violence. Why the Globe, Jane Doe and Peace at home will not acknowledge that those who die at their own hands are also victims of domestic violence is telling. Why are some lives lost as a result of domestic violence omitted from the final count year after year? [http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/editorials/articles/2005/12/31/in_memoriam/.] In 2005 the editorial staff begins the In Memoriam column by asking the following:

THE STORIES OF DEATHS caused by domestic violence [italics added] are always chilling. And they always drive home a single question: How could these fatal attacks have been prevented.

The In Memoriam column notes that Jane Doe Inc., the lead domestic violence agency in Massachusetts, is looking for answers. It reports that Jane Doe and Harvard Law School fellow Diane Rosenfeld will study domestic violence homicides, analyze long-term trends, and then issue an annual report.

Each year homicide/suicides account for approximately one quarter to one third of domestic violence homicides. The deaths of those who murder and then take their own lives are almost always male. These murders are horrific crimes, however, they also represent complex tragedies for those who love the offenders and for the sake of further and future victims these homicide - suicides must be explored not ignored.

The Seeds of Bias

The Jane Doe website documents that 1 in 5 female high school students report being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Jane Doe willfully and purposely ignores the victimization of male high school students [http://www.janedoe.org/know.htm.]

Jane Doe acknowledges the victimization of women while it ignores the victimization of men [http://www.janedoe.org/safety.htm.] Jane Doe and other ideological domestic violence organizations should know that the methodology used in the survey that reports 1 in every 3 women world wide have been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in a lifetime, similar to the many surveys found on pages 48-49 of the, Advancing the Federal Research Agenda on Violence Against Women [http://www.nap.edu/catalog/10849.html] documents similar numbers for men concerning physical assaults.

It is obvious that the Jane Doe ideological feminist position, similar to most domestic violence organizations, is both divisive and exclusionary. Thus the Jane Doe position becomes a part of the problem by concealing rather than revealing research. Ideological feminists are people who are more concerned with a "gender agenda" than victim or civil rights.

Their obvious gender agenda causes Jane Doe not to be gender inclusive and hence Jane Doe, as its website documents, is not a part of the solution for all victims. The examples above of how Jane Doe expresses concerns about our daughters and ignores our sons and displays the number of abused women while excluding abused men are only two of many clear and obvious examples of its gender biased philosophy.

Perhaps the Globe has a gender agenda of its own. The study needs to examine the impact the Globe has in passing gender bias on to the general public. A Google search reveals that the Boston Globe was the only newspaper in the nation to omit the fact that allegations of violent behavior in a restraining order played a role in the legal separation of the nation's first civil-union lesbian couple.

The Jane Doe Philosophy

The majority of the members of Jane Doe, similar to the majority of domestic violence agencies nationwide, and perhaps the Globe, continue to believe that domestic violence is caused by sexism and the oppression of women by men.

Jane Doe, similar to the majority of domestic violence organizations continue to present the myopic one-dimensional philosophy that women are the docile and passive victims of domestic violence and violent and aggressive men are their offenders. Hundreds of studies document the truth is much more complicated than that theory [http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm.]

On December 19, 2005 the Boston Globe editorial staff in the, Young and Injured, editorial explore the results of a recent Harvard School of Public Health survey of 1,079 Boston students in grades 9-12. This study clearly documents that both boys and girls can demonstrate similar aggressive and assaultive behavior. The Harvard study documents something else that Jane Doe might not acknowledge; both boys and girls are candidates for post-traumatic stress disorders [http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/editorials/articles/2005/12/29/young_and_injured/.]

On page 74, the Boston Youth Survey (BYS) documents that 8% of girls and 7% of boys reported experiencing physical violence during the last 12 months from a dating partner. The BYS also notes that 7% of girls and 5% of boys over their life time report experiencing sexual violence by their dating partner. This data is dramatically inconsistent with the claims of Jane Doe and brings into serious question why Jane Doe excludes male teenage victimization from its website.

On page 52, the BYS report notes that 48% of girls and 54% of boys hit back when someone hits them first. The BYS notes that 35% of girls and 39% of boy's pushed/shoved/kicked/ slapped another student. The BYS notes that 19% of girls and 26% of boys got into a physically fight when they got angry. And the BYS notes that 28% of girls and 32% of boys threatened to hit or hurt another student.

In fact, the BYS data is consistent with national data from the Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS). The YRBS on pages 39-40, documents that 8.8% of girls and 8.9% of boys report that they were hit, slapped or physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend.

The same pages of the YRBS also documents that 11.9% of girls and 6.1% of teenage boys were physically forced to have sexual intercourse against their will with a dating partner http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/PDF/SS/SS5302.pdf.

Is it that Jane Doe is ignorant of the results of the BYS and the YRBS surveys or is it possible that Jane Doe willfully and purposely suppresses the documentation of the victimization of boys and men?

Jane Doe and the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) [http://www.ndvh.org/] have, apparently because of their ideological feminism, chosen to ignore reams of empirical studies and data similar to the two above, that document girls can be just as coercive, assertive and aggressive as boys in a particular context and under certain circumstances.

The Jane Doe and the NDVH websites clearly document their lack of concern about male victimization and their obvious belief that male victimization and female offending are so rare that they need not waste their time exploring those issues.

A visit to either the Jane Doe or NDVH websites clearly documents that both organizations are more concerned with the victimization of girls/women than boys/men. The vast majority of domestic agencies, as their websites document, agree with the philosophy of Jane Doe. The reason for their lack of concern about male victimization is that most domestic violence organizations accept as fact the following claim:

''Men are sometimes victims of domestic violence,'' said Nancy Scannell, legislative director of Jane Doe Inc., a Massachusetts-based domestic violence coalition. ''But the attempt to be inclusive [of male victims] should never be interpreted to mean that the issue is gender-neutral. It does not change our mind about why [domestic violence] happens. It happens because of sexism and power and control of men over women in our society.'' [http://www.janedoe.org/about/about_news_10_28_02.htm]

Reality Ignored Once Again

In the year 2005, the In Memoriam column reports that there were 14 domestic violence deaths in Massachusetts, 8 women and 6 men. The reality is that the column actually documents 8 women and 10 men are now dead and the issue of domestic violence clearly, presents and plays an important role in all those deaths.

Each year the In Memoriam column documents that domestic violence is far more complex than the myopic "sexism and the power and control of men over women." And each year the Globe, Jane Doe and Peace at Home ignore that reality.

In Memoriam 2005

Maria Hartogensis was murdered by her husband Richard. Her body was found in the woods wrapped in a tarp and a blanket. The police found Richard at home wearing blood-stained clothes. The couple had been married for two years, and law enforcement authorities has no record of past domestic violence incidents.

Neil Olsen was shot by his step son. Police were initially called to the home and told that Olsen had been struck in the head by a horse. Police also arrested Neil Olsen's wife Patricia Olsen claiming that she had cajoled her son into killing Neil.

Ryan Curtis was allegedly shot to death by his partner, Stephen CampoBasso. Law enforcement discovered that CampoBasso then committed suicide in a wooded area near their home. Friends said that Curtis and CampoBasso were engaged.

Andrea Harvey was strangled by her husband Damion Linton. Linton fled Massachusetts and was arrested by police in North Carolina.

Sylvie Desilets was shot to death by her husband Ajit Chordia. Chordia then committed suicide.

Janice Giovanelli Ruth was murdered by her husband Carl. He was found and arrested while at the Worchester Public Library.

Rocky Ham was murdered by his 16-year-old girlfriend who was pregnant with their child.

Lawrence Godin was murdered by Fernando Ribeiro. Godin and Ribeiro had been living together for a decade. There appears to have been a long history of violent behavior between them.

Amy Vilkisius Correa and Chelsea Vilkisius were murdered by Correa's husband Jose Correa.

Wendy Cox was allegedly suffocated by her boyfriend. Notified by a worried friend police responded to the home to find John MacKenzie sitting on a couch next to Cox's body that was wrapped in a blanket.

Myron Crapps was stabbed to death by his girlfriend Dawn Wheeler after an argument between them..

Zinaida Girdauskiene was shot to death by her husband Roaldas Baran. Baran then committed suicide.

Lessons Ignored Once Again

It is hoped that Rosenfeld will recognize what the Globe, Jane Doe, and Peace at Home have ignored for all their years of reporting these domestic violence deaths. As the In Memoriam column notes these deaths are telling us a story and it is time that we start listening to the truths they tell. The stories these deaths tell are considerably different from the stories we hear from Jane Doe and the majority of the national domestic violence organizations.

It is painfully obvious to unbiased observers that the majority of these deaths are not simply or exclusively the result of sexism and power and control of men over women in our society. If society is to provide a cure it must correctly identify the cause.

An unbiased observer of domestic violence recognizes that the majority of domestic violence incidents, regardless of severity, are often multi-faceted and complex events. Hundreds of domestic violence studies clearly document that there is no single cause or cure.

Unfortunately for the past and future victims of domestic violence in Massachusetts, the Globe, Jane Doe, and Peace at Home appear to be consumed by dated 20th century theory, "the patriarchy makes them do it," and they remain trapped in the bias that theory creates.

Equal Access

If society is to be convinced of the reality of domestic violence the contemporary "gender agenda" must be set aside and the truth be told. It should be obvious to anyone that marginalizing, minimizing and ignoring male victimization causes men to avoid becoming a part of the solution.

Men view the issue of domestic violence as a "girls/women's problem" because domestic violence organizations present domestic violence not only as a "girls/women's problem," ideological feminists also claim boys/men "are the problem." This is the "theory" that caused Congress to pass a Violence Against Women Act and not a Family Violence Act.

The Globe is as guilty as Jane Doe and Peace at Home as it continues to play a role in misrepresenting to its readership the enigma that is domestic violence. In the 2005 In Memoriam column Mary Lauby, the executive director of Jane Doe, envisions:

a system of equal access to high-quality services in every part of the state. She would like to see a culture that protects people through awareness and, most of all, prevention. But achieving this will require financial stability and growth, as well as more attention to the grueling demands placed on staffers who spend their days responding to horrific cases of violence.

The day of "equal access" will not come until the Globe, Jane Doe, and Peace at Home recognize that domestic violence is not, by statute law in all fifty states, violence against women nor is it exclusively or primarily caused by sexism and power and control of men over women in society.

The day of "equal access" will not come until domestic violence organizations, similar to the one Lauby leads, end its' minimizing, marginalizing, and ignoring the victimization of boys and men.

How does Lauby expect our sons will have "equal excess" when Jane Doe paints them either invisible or as the primary source of the problem? The day of "equal access" is delayed each day the reality of female offending and male victimization is minimized, marginalized and ignored by domestic violence organizations. This setting aside of reality harms all victims and impedes proper progress.

The vast majority of unbiased scholar, professionals and researchers understand that there are many complex factors that have been discovered and others yet to be discovered that contribute to domestic violence. Ideological organizations that continue to claim they have discovered the single correct answer ­ see above ­ hinder progress more than they help.

Awareness

Ideologically held feminist beliefs do not allow Jane Doe, Peace at Home, and the Globe to understand that society does not have "a culture that protects people through awareness" because of their insistence of not allowing the general public to become aware of the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The truth stares them in the face, year after year, through the In Memoriam columns. And year after year that truth is ignored.

For the sake of girls, women, boys and men let us hope that Rosenfeld can convince these organizations that they need to become the "human rights" agencies they claim to be rather than continuing to be the "women's rights" organizations they actually have become. And if you do not believe these organizations are far more concerned with "women's rights" than "human rights" you simply have not visited the many domestic violence organization websites.

Each year the In Memoriam column documents that lives depend on research recognizing the individuality and differences of these horrific events. It is clearly and painfully obvious that the reasons for these deaths are far more complex and multifaceted than the simple "the patriarchy makes them do it" theory that the vast majority of domestic violence organizations continue to proffer.

Lives depend on Rosenfeld playing an important unbiased research role in producing a new beginning for Massachusetts that for the will for first time involve a real and complete gender inclusive exploration of all of the causes and consequences of domestic violence.

To prevent violence and save lives domestic violence organizations must begin moving into the 21st century and provide more than simple "lip service," concerning male victimization. To prevent violence domestic violence organizations must acknowledge, not ignore studies similar to the BYS and the YRBS that document this wellspring of adult violent behavior. To prevent violence we must also begin to acknowledge that all physical assaults, regardless of age differential, are wrong.

While the NDVH claims it is concerned about male victimization, its website, as of January, 1st 2006, contains not a single representation of a male victim. The implicit message of the NDVH website is that there are no male victims or there are so few that there is no reason to depict male victimization.

Equal Concern

Domestic violence organizations must begin to provide real "equal concern" for all victims regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation. While these organizations claim they are unbiased, their stated philosophic beliefs and their websites paint dramatically different realities. Information concerning male victimization that is purposely omitted from these websites clearly document a real and present gender bias.

In the editorial, Young and Injured, the Globe editorial staff writes, "A reader of the current [BYS] study comes away with an appreciation for the depth of the problem but little understanding of how to prevent it." The Globe, Jane Doe and Peace at Home do not offer gender inclusive violence prevention programs because they refuse to appreciate or understand the depth of the problem.

A first step for the Globe, Jane Doe and Peace at home is to recognize that the, Young and Injured, study documents there is little difference between female and male aggressive and physically assaultive behavior. Further, there is no empirical evidence that can document these behaviors end the day girls become women and boys become men.

Change will not come until domestic violence organizations move from 20th century ideological gender biased theories and recognize and accept 21st century empirical research. Some of these past fatal attacks might have been prevented if domestic violence organizations were, from the very beginning, inclusive of all victims of domestic violence regardless of their age, gender or sexual orientation.

If Rosenfeld researchers female offending, male victimization, studies homicide - suicides and she analyzes all long-term trends regardless of age, gender and sexual orientation, some future violence might be prevented and some lives might be saved.